Writing About People, Places, and Things

Taming the White Tiger

2011-09-29T21:03:00.000-07:00

A few years back, I was living in a small apartment in ProvoUtah with my husband, Brandon, and my white cat named Hector Ayala. Brandon was napping in the bedroom andI had just gotten home from PetSmart with some kitty treats and otheressentials. While I was there Isaw a nice blue collar. It had acute little bell on it and the color looked like the ocean on a tropical beachsomewhere. Hector had never worn acollar. He never needed to sincehe was an indoor cat but I decided that it was time for him to wear one. I pulled the tags off the collar andundid the buckle on it. I laid it out on my coffee table so I could be readyfor him.

I called Hector over with the promise of treats and he camewillingly. He must have beenthinking the red beast is sharing her bounteous hoardings. Ipulled him up onto my lap and gave him some scratches then I grabbed thecollar. It was like he could sensedanger. He began to tense up and squirm. I held him a bit tighter and said soothingly, “Awe, it’s okay HectorSpector,” which is one of his nicknames. He looked up at me with his wide knowing eyes and I could tell they werefilled with fear. While he waslooking at me, I put the collar around his neck. He immediately began biting my hand. I tried to continue to put it on himwhile he was gnawing at my flesh but it became too painful. I said, “HECTOR! STOP!” and he did.

I began to thread the collar through the buckle when hebegan to squirm more. The thingyou have to remember about Hector Ayala is that he may be white and fuzzy buthe is strong and cunning as well. He began kicking his back legs against my forearm like a bunny would tohop around. My griptightened. I finished latching thecollar onto her his neck. I decidednot to give it a whole lot of wiggle room so he wouldn’t be able to just slipout of it and I sent him on his way.

He jumped off my lap and gave me a dirty look. He scuttled off and hid somewhere.

A few minutes later I head grunting and heavy breathing. I looked underneath the side table inour living room and sure enough there he was. There were clumps of hair everywhere and Hector was aheaving mound of white anger. Iwent to put my hand on his back to comfort him when his body levitated off theground, flipped around, landed facing me, and then he squealed at me. I drew my hand back and shrieked. He was in no mood to be comforted. As I drew closer to see what theproblem was I realized that he had somehow slipped his back paw into the collarand was stuck that way. He wasbreathing heavily and grunting from the struggle to get loose. I panicked.

I went to grab him and he became nothing more than aflailing blur of claws and flying white fur. I grabbed the closest blanket I could find to wrap aroundhim to keep him from shredding my delicate pale skin. I threw it over him but it was like the blanket was a fluffywhite cloud and it dissipated as soon as it touched him.

I called for my husband who was sound asleep in the bedroomand could not hear my panicked pleas. I decided I was on my own to save my cat from suffocating to death byhis own stupid foot. I picked uphis writhing body and pushed through the pain of claws on flesh. He used his one free back paw to sliceopen my forearm. I screamed out inpain and then held him closer.

I knew from that point it was eat or be eaten so I grabbed atoss pillow with one hand while holding the trembling hissing animal with theother. I pushed the pillow ontohis claws and held him down tight with one hand while I pulled his back pawfree. Now that all four paws werefree, he was a lot stronger and extremely angry. He began kicking as hard as he could with his powerful backlegs and tearing open the soft pale Irish skin on me legs. I pushed pillow into him harder with myelbows and forearms. Luckily, dueto my shoddy housekeeping skills there were multiple things on my coffee tableincluding scissors. I somehowmanaged to grab the scissors and cut the cursed collar off my cat.

Once the collar was off, I lifted the pillow and there wasnothing but a white blur running off to hide somewhere. I cried out a pitiful sound that I amnot entirely sure was English. Ilooked at the remains of what used to be my arms and my legs and thought I wouldnever, ever put a collar on the great white tiger known as Hector Ayalaagain.

A Day in the Life of Hector Ayala

2011-09-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

A beam of light shone through the eyelid of a cat named Hector Ayala. It created a creamcicle orange color. Hector opened his eyes and saw nothing but a blinding light. He blinked and looked away. Realizing where he was, he looked around at the familiar scene. Hector had fallen asleep on the back of the loveseat in the living room. He took in the sight of articles of clothing on the floor, as well as a bunch of empty drink cups. Is it really so hard to put things away. Those lazy humans!

Directly to his left there was a window, which was covered by blinds. There where small specs of light shining through the holes where the strings, which held the blinds together, came through. Hector noticed the small beams of light on the loveseat and jumped onto the seat. What is that? Where does it come from? Every morning, it comes and rests there on the couch but where does it come from. He tapped it with his paw. It did not move. Curious. Hector spent a few minutes poking at it until he was no longer interested in the little beams of light. Hector decided to wander around. It would be a few hours before The Big One and The Red One would wake up.

Trotting down the hall, Hector noticed that there was one of the stretchy black things that The Red One puts in her hair to hold it back. YES! I love these things! Hector swatted at it. It flew across the floor. He chased after it and skidded to a stop right in front of it. He moved it around with his paw for a moment. Then he grabbed it with his claw and pulled it up, lowered himself onto his back, and grabbed it with his back paw as well. He stretched it between his front and back paw for a few moments. I like this workout because it makes my leg muscles strong and I get to lie down while doing it. The stretchy black thing flew across the hall next to his water dish. Hector bolted towards it and slid into the bowl of water, causing the it to splash on the floor and onto his paws.

Ewe, I hate when this happens. My paws are all wet, Hector thought as he shook his paws and made a sour expression. He decided that now was as good of time as any and lapped up some water. He was very thirsty. He drank for a while. After drinking he needed to relieve himself. The litter box was full and Hector sniffed around for a good spot to pee. That’s been taken, that’s been taken… I guess this spot will do. After he was done, he tried to bury it but… since the box was full, this was not easy. Stupid Red One, she is supposed to clean this out.

Hector walked out of the bathroom thinking all sorts of profanities about The Red One and decided he was going to go look at the light spots on the couch again. He jumped up and stared at them for a while. This held his attention for much longer this time.

In a few hours time Hector had repeated these actions several times and he decided he was bored so he walked down the hall one more time and came to The Big One and The Red One’s bedroom. He could hear them both snoring. He let out a pitiful little meow. It was much more quiet than he had intended. This time he wailed. The Red One stirred. It’s working. She’s waking. He meowed a few more times. After a while of meowing and attacking The Red One’s feet, she got up and they played some games. Hector decided after he chased the feather wand around for an exceedingly long time, that he was tired enough to go to sleep. He jumped up onto the office chair and curled up into a ball. He thought about his day and all the things he had accomplished. Cat days may seem short and uneventful to human spectators but to a cat these seemingly trivial activities are just part of an important to do list. Hector thought about his day as he drifted off to sleep. My muscles are going to be so big. I only hope The Red One doesn’t find my black stretchy thing and take it away again… Hector fell asleep and dreamt of a room filled with light spots and black stretchy things.

Rise and Shine

2010-03-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

I have a slightly tortured relationship with my cat. Mainly, I like to torment him and chase him around and he just takes it. I often like to wrap him up in a blanket and hold him like a baby. He hates it. I also like to try and scare him, by suddenly shouting, “BABY!” I think he dislikes that the most. We do have our good times and we mostly just have fun playing together or cuddling. Even though I torment him, it should be understood that he is not helpless. He has ways of evening the score. I have often gone to turn the corner and found him there, ready to pounce at my face. Other times, he will be try to get me to play with him. As I walk away, he will bear hug my calves and dig his claws into my flesh. Perhaps his favorite thing to do to me is to come into my room in the wee small hours of the morning and meow with all his might! He usually does this sporadically until I decide it’s not worth it to continue the protest.

One such morning, around 8:30 A.M. on my day off, I was sleeping. Hector snuck into my room and heard the ambient noise of the fan and intense snoring. He walked over to my side of the bed and let out a pitiful squeak. I did not stir. He decided he would be heard this time. He steadied his stance and raised his head and bellowed, letting out a sound that can only be described as a siren of death. There was a snort, ending the motorized sound coming from my nostrils. I rolled over and ignored Hector’s plea. Again, he sounded the alarm and tried to get me to wake up. It did not work.

Hector must have gotten tired of meowing so he left for about fifteen minutes and I was given the opportunity to enjoy the silence. I stupidly believed that it would be different that morning. I was in a fantasy world. I actually believed that I would be able to sleep through the morning without hearing what has been described as the most annoying sound in the world. I lay there, cozy and warm in my bed, feeling oh so happy, when I heard the sound of clawed paws walking on linoleum. It was the little white turd.

I turned towards the door, realizing that it was Hector. He poked his head through the open doorway and meowed again. I said nothing and he blinked. He stood silent for a moment. It was a stare-off. Suddenly, without provoke, he sounded the siren. I just snapped and yelled, “SHUT UP!”

At the urging of my tantrum, he walked over to my bedside table and hopped up. He had a determined look of revenge in his eyes. He sat himself right next to my nearly full glass of water. He looked at it and then at me. He raised his paw slowly, as if to lick it. Then he moved it cautiously over my glass. I said, “Hector,” and all the while staring at me, he lowered his paw into the water and pulled it over. A flood of cool water splashed over the rim. It poured out and splashed all over my face and sheets. I remember seeing a flash of white as Hector flew out of the room. I threw off my sheets and ran down the hall. What happened next shall not be recorded. It makes me look foolish and I just won’t do it but let’s just say, I still need to get even with Hector Ayala.

Irish Whiskey

2009-05-16T21:59:00.000-07:00

I was working in the credit department when I received a relay call. Relay calls are a service that deaf people use to make phone calls. The hearing-impaired use an IM feature on their computer with an individual who then relays the conversation.

A man, who has been a customer of RC Willey’s for a while, was using Relay to call and discuss his bill, which he received in the mail. I answered the phone, “Hello, thank you for calling RC Willey Credit Department. How can I help you?”

A woman’s voice came through on the other line and said, “Hello my name is Vanessa. I work for a company that does relay calls for the hearing impaired. Have you ever used this feature before?

“No I have not.”

She began to explain it by saying that each time you finish with what you are saying, you say, stop and go ahead. She asked, “Are you ready to go ahead?”

My brain started going into overdrive thinking of all the ways I could accidentally insult the man and how this conversation could result in my termination. I saw myself being escorted off the premises and asked to never return again. I said, “Yes.”

She said, “Go ahead?”

“Yes, go ahead.”

Vanessa said, “I have a few questions about my account. Stop.”

I replied, “Go ahead. Stop.”

Speaking for the man, Vanessa said, “Why is my balance showing late fees? Stop.”

I looked at his account and found that he was over ten days late on payments for a couple months and had received late fees for those months. I started to answer by saying, “It looks like you’ve missed your payment due dates by over ten days the past couple of months. That is why you have late fees. Stop. Go ahead.”

He immediately started giving excuses and saying I was wrong. I tried to explain a littler deeper.

Any time you are on the other end of a relay call, the user can interrupt you at any time but the IM feature for the trained relay call employee cannot interrupt. This means that the hearing impaired can interrupt you so you sound like an idiot. Vanessa’s voice came through the phone once again and said, “You’re not making any sense.”

I said, “Sir, let me finish and I assure you I will make sense to you. Stop.”

He asked, “Why am I being charged late fees? I’m not supposed to have interest or payments for six months. Stop.”

I understood immediately why he was perplexed. He was confusing the same as cash plan with the payment plan. I started to explain this by saying, “With this plan you have to make payments each month. If you miss two payments, interest will be charged and you will have late fees applied to your account. Your payments are due each month, which is why your statements say amount due, each month. Stop.”

There was an intense pause. I imagined both the relay lady and the deaf mute jumping through the phone and beating me to an inch of death. Then the relay lady spoke with great disdain. She said, “You-sound-drunk…”

The deaf man thought I sounded drunk. Imagine my surprise when the man who had no auditory function suddenly developed the sense of sound, even without a phone. That is truly amazing. However, I had no gratitude for witnessing this miracle. I ignored it and focused on my rage.

I felt like telling him off and using some carefully chosen insults but instead I said, “Sir you cannot talk to me that way. I’m trying to explain this to you but if you talk that way to me. I will not help you.”

Then he kept insisting that I get a “sober” manager on the phone because he was tired of talking to me. I, of course, did get a manager on the phone and he was perfectly pleasant to her. He did not insult her or call her a boozer.

I have experienced many things during my employ with RC Willey but this was my first miracle. I will always remember when the deaf man heard my drunken behavior.

Flatus

2009-05-06T18:03:00.000-07:00

Most people who know me recognize that I feel awkward around other's children. Of course I think they are cute and are usually good for a laugh but I'm genuinely terrified of them. I think it's something about their eyes, so wide, and observant. I think they'll see right through me and know that I have no natural ability to pacify them. As the youngest in my family I was not the one comforting or trying to entertain a young child. This is why I am afraid of becoming a mother. I am enormously hopeless when it comes to children.

Just recently I had breakfast with a friend from work who has a 10-month-old girl. This child is simply beautiful. I have an atypical love for this young child. She is full of life and so much fun. I have a curiously comfortable feeling around her as long as her mother, Ashley, is right there with me. Breakfast was enjoyable. Ashley and I shared laughs and had a filling breakfast. After breakfast, however, Ashley got up to go to the bathroom. On her way she said, "Can you watch her for me?"

My pupils constricted and my heart began to race. I answered feebly, "Yes."

Ashley sat the chubby baby directly in front of me and said, "If she cries, bring her to me."

I wasn't sure which prospect was more distressing, the thought of a screaming child that won't listen to reason, or interrupting a private time of a friend. Despite the fact I love her dearly, I didn't really want to become acquainted with her in that intimate way. I sat there staring at the round face of this tiny person. I felt foolish sitting in silence, so I said, "Hello Maddi, how are you today?"

Maddi started blank-faced at me. The fear inside me rose. I felt ridiculous trying to make conversation with someone whose vocabulary skills were at most squeals or raspberries. Maddi was now bored with me and started to play with a teething ring. I watched her play with it for a while. She really enjoyed shaking it. It flew suddenly out of her grip. I started where it fell. I feared screaming and I knew I could not give it back to her because it fell on the floor and the floor was filthy. I decided to what is most natural to me. I made fart noises with my mouth. Astonishingly, it worked. She looked at me and smiled. I was shocked. Fart noised had worked.

Rather pleased with my success, I began to make random noises. It seemed to hold her attention well enough. It also got the attention of every table around me. I didn't care though. I was triumphant. I successfully held the attention of a small child without making her cry.

Orphaned

2009-04-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

I would like to preface this story by saying that I wrote this not because I was feeling sad but because I wanted a record of it. Sad things happen and that is a fact. You cannot hide from them and you cannot pretend that they aren't a part of you. I am grateful for all of the experiances in my life because I know I am stronger for them. I hope that whoever reads this can find some comfort in the fact that my life is good and that while I miss my mother, I am happy.

I came to consciousness suddenly. A faint sound of whimpering came from my sister's bed. The air seemed thick with sadness and torment. "Mom? No, no, no", came more sobs from Brianne's bed.

I knew the moment I heard my sister's lament. My stomach dropped, the way it does when something terrifying happens. For a brief moment, panic set in. They are wrong. I need to check on her. We were supposed to have more time.

Reality set in and I sat up in bed, "Mom!" My voice cracked, "She… she's gone?" That was a dumb question, I already knew what happened.

My oldest sister, Jennifer, came to my bedside. Fear and mourning in her eyes. I could tell what was weighing on her mind. She was the oldest. It was her responsibility to make sure we were okay. "Mom is gone. She passed while you where sleeping," she said flatly.

My eyes felt warm and wet, as if I had sprung a wild leak. My lip began to quiver and I let out a moan of grief. I suddenly pushed myself up out of bed. Jenne pushed me back down to a seated position. I fell back down with ease, my body heavy with grief and sleep. She said, "You don't need to see this."

Flashes of red and white filled the room. Turning to the window, I saw an ambulance pull up to the curb of my house. There was a knocking at our door. "We received a call from this residence that there was a death," a man said.

A hoarse and tired sounding voice, which belonged to my grandmother, said, "Yes, please come in." Metal rattling filled the silent house. My sister left the room at the prompting of this sound.

Sitting there, my senses started to fade. My eyes felt large in my head. My nose felt like someone was pushing a pillow against it. The thoughts drained from my head. Numbness had come over me and the world around me did not exist. There was no life on this planet, no food, no friendships, and no air to breathe.

Suddenly, air filled my lungs as if I had come back to life. It was as though my consciousness came back to this world but it was unlike any world I had ever known. It was lonely, dark, and cold. I could recall that I had a family and friends but not a single name came to my memory. A hollow scuffling came to my ears. It was uncomfortable. It filled me with dread. The plastic wheels of the gurney rolled over the pavement outside of my house.

In a trance, my body stood up. My legs moved, bringing me forward. My body stopped next to the window in my room. I bent over, looking through the broken slats on my blinds. Flashing red and white, there was a gurney with a still body in a large black bag. This image made me pause. It seemed absurd to put a human body into what resembled a garbage bag.

I watched as they lifted the stretcher into the ambulance and they drove away. My body felt vacant, as if I was the one who had died. Sleep never came that night, feeling didn't come either. A colorless world with an ambulance driving away flashed in my mind every time I closed my eyes. I will never forget that night or the lack of sensation, as if I had been alone in a dark cavernous place.

The Freezer Diaries

2009-03-23T10:38:00.000-07:00

When I was 16-years-old I worked at Arby's fast food restaurant. I worked at the counter sometimes but mostly in the drive-thru since I was the fastest they had there. I hated working there. I disliked the people I worked with, I reviled taking orders for food that would most-likely kill the person ordering it, and I detested the smell of the place. Even to this day when I see the sign for Arby's I can smell the roast beef.

I never really felt like I fit in there. There was no one my age or with similar interests as me. When I arrived to work everyday, I had to take my things to the back of the restaurant. To do so, I had to pass the kitchen where a man named Alfredo worked. He was a 50-year-old Spanish-speaking man who was, let's say extremely affectionate. Every-time I came back there he would stop me and not let me through until I hugged him and said, "Hola, como estas." It was truly creepy. This kind of social environment and the nature of the work was why I had such deep loathing for that job.

One day I was working at the front counter and drive-thru alone. It was extremely slow that day. I remember only seeing our usual costumers there. There was a lady who always came in around noon to get a Diet Coke, no ice, as well as a small curly fry. She would sit there, eat her curly fry, and finish her Diet Coke. There was also a man who came in every day to get the Big Beef n' Cheddar combo meal.

It was the definition of slow so naturally the cooks were blaring their Spanish music. Alfredo, my special touchy-feely friend, was serenading me from the food window. I suddenly heard the door chime. I looked over and saw the largest man I have ever seen. He came up to the counter, wheezing from the trip into the store. He was inquiring about a coupon, "Are you still honoring this coupon?" His massive sweaty hand dropped a crinkled coupon on the counter. I picked it up as his droopy eyes stared down at me. It was damp so I tried to make as little contact with it as possible.

The expiration date, clearly listed on the front, showed that it was still good. I said, "Yes, sir we are still honoring it." The coupon gave the consumer a deal of five roast beef sandwiches for $5.95.

The corpulent man, now sweating profusely, had an expression of glee on his face. He said, "I'll take it… uh they freeze good." His eyes seemed to suddenly shift about at the prompting of this statement.

I paused for a moment, stared at him, and said, "Yes… I'm sure they do, if you freeze them." The man gave me a look of undeserved superiority, as if it weren't a lie, then paid for his order. I placed his order. In a few awkward moments he took his to-go order to the dining room and proceeded to eat every last disgusting roast beef sandwich. By the time he finished his third sandwich, I couldn't bear watching any more of this hideous display of gluttony.

I was alone at my post and really had no one to talk to so I turned to organize some things. The condiments were contained in a grey plastic box on the counter behind the registers. I took them all out and started to stack them by flavor. I was in a trance and forgot about my surroundings. I was nearly half way through my task when I heard something. It sounded oddly familiar but I could not place it. What was that sound… is something leaking, is someone whistling. The smell of musty sweat filled the air. Then I realized. The sound was wheezing!

The incredible roast beef disposal unit was back. I whirled around. There on the counter was another soggy, crinkled coupon and standing in front of me at the counter was the largest man I've ever seen.

Cirque du Soleil

2008-10-22T19:52:00.000-07:00

I own a cat. His name is Hector Ayala. He is a very inquisitive cat who is also tremendously fearful of loud noises, slippers, and large people. I also live with a large deafening man. Hector tends to spring into the air whenever there is something loud or big coming at him. The large man thoroughly enjoys these kinds of reactions.

One day Hector Ayala, named for The White Tiger from Spiderman comics, was wandering the living room. He was minding his own business smelling my guitar. He loves to smell things. I tend to believe that he has a nose fetish. So, he was sniffing around, when all of a sudden, the cable went out. There was a thunderous noise of static coming from the television. I heard a thud from under the end table. I muted the gargantuan boob tube and peered around the sofa. Hector was twitching his head around looking for the source of the mysterious commotion.

I held back a laugh while watching him walk over to the now muted television. I waited and watched, which is a great way to discover something wonderful. As soon as he put his front legs on the TV stand I took the television off of mute. He leaped into the air and did somewhat of a back flip. I thought to myself, "Hector would have a lucrative career in the circus." The thought of becoming a stage mom brought me back to reality. I decided not to try making millions with an acrobatic cat.

Hector had worked up the courage to start smelling the TV again. Stupid cat. I took it off of mute again and he skyrocketed once more. This time there was a great roar of laughter coming from my direction. He gave me a look of pure loathing. I could tell he was thinking, "You imbecilic human, if ever I develop thumbs, it shall be the end of you." He is much more eloquent than I.

I decided to not push my luck anymore with the wondrous sound of static from the television… after the sixth time.

The Games of Potatoes

2008-10-13T09:10:00.000-07:00

My mom died when I was 13 years old, which is probably why I have such a sunny outlook on life. When people complain about things that don't really seem to matter, I tend to think, "What the crap does this have to do with anything?"

I lived with my grandmother for a short time during my adolescence. My help would often be requested for things such as vacuuming, taking out the garbage, and cooking. On one such occasion my grandmother asked me to wash, peel, and cut the potatoes for dinner.

Smallville was on and I found the lead actor, Tom Welling, to be quite dreamy. With much grumbling I made my way to the kitchen. This was a very hard thing for me. After all, Tom Welling is really beautiful.

I got to the sink and with a great fiery ball of fury building in the pit of my stomach I silently washed the potatoes. As I was doing this, my grandmother was getting out a pot. She came to the sink and said, "You don’t need to stand right in the middle of the there. Other people need to use the sink as well."

The fire grew.

I finished and began to the peel the potatoes. She came back to the check on the progress of the boiling water. She glanced over… there was suddenly an arctic chill in the air. "You shouldn't push so hard when you peel. You're wasting too much potato."

Fiery darts suddenly shot forth from my eye and her head burst into flames. The sound of Smallville in the background brought me back to reality. My mood was no longer victorious but there was defeat in its place. I could feel the fireball growing.

I quickly finished peeling started to chop the spuds. First, I cut them in half around the middle and then in quarters, then eights.

I heard the sound of slippers on linoleum. It was grandma again. I clenched my teeth. I was hoping she would keep the criticism to herself. I was stupid then.

"You're cutting them wrong. You should cut them lengthwise first!" She grabbed the knife from me and said, "Oh, I'll just do it myself."

The fireball extinguished.

I just smiled sweetly to myself as I sat back down to watch the rest of Smallville. There are always winners in the games of potatoes.

The End

I love and miss my grandmother. I feel unbelievably lucky to have had such a weird/wonderful time with her. She gave me so much to be grateful for including a lot of really funny stories!

Everyone's A Comic

2008-09-28T15:38:00.000-07:00

There is something distressing about having to make small talk with strangers. When working retail, this is a common occurrence. For a short time you are a small part of their life.

Retail customers actually feel they can make a difference in the dismal lives of cashiers. They know if they make a "quippy" remark on how much they are spending, it will transform this brainless job into something worthwhile. As if hearing stale jokes over and over will somehow fill the hollow void this numbing job leaves with you.

In one day I heard six different people, as they handed me cash, say, "Hope those uhr' good. I just printed em' this mornin." These remarks are always followed with, what I can only describe as, great Appalachian laughter. Something inside me snaps each time I hear these poor attempts at humor.

A short time ago I was working at cashier station three. There was an endless line. I said, "I can help who's next over here."

This greasy man walked up and said, "Hello cashier #3. Is that really your name?"

I made a sad attempt at laughter and felt my soul shudder. I asked, "Did you find everything alright?"

"I found a little more than I was wantn'. Those sales guys is good", said the grotesque man standing before me.

I quickly decided that there would be no more conversation between the grease monster and myself. I ran the transaction through as fast as possible and he kept trying to make ridiculous comments about the store and how "perty" everything was. After I finished the transaction, wincing a little, I asked, "Is there anything else I can do for you?

He replied, "Well it seems I just spent a monster truck load of money here. You got a million dollars I can have?" There was a roar of thunderous hillbilly laughter and I closed my eyes for a second to imagine myself anywhere but cashier station #3.

Who Do I Think I Am?

2008-09-25T21:53:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know The Dark Knight was a while ago but I was looking at some of my old photos and found this one. This is us in my apartment wearing the t-shirts that Brando made for all of us for the premier of The Dark Knight. He worked really hard on them. He first drew the picture, then made a positive and negative stencil, then he used an acrylic paint and then heat set them with the iron. It was a lot of work but I think it was worth it. I still wear mine all the time... in fact that is what I am wearing right now... how strange that I wrote 'I wear them all the time' without realizing I was wearing the exact t-shirt I was talking about. Man, I am so self absorbed!

2008-09-14T18:23:00.000-07:00

I have been very busy. I have decided that I am going to start writing down the stories from my youth. I have been using all of the crazy days that I spent with my grandmother. I really want to be able to remember them forever because they are some of the most interesting human interaction stories I have.

I have also been writing stories from work a lot. There are always really great stories whenever you have access to the general public. There are some really strange people out there.

I don't keep a journal but I figure this will be a great way for my children to look back on my life. Besides, I really enjoy writing. It is a great release when something has gone wrong in the day and I can find a way to put humor into it. I guess that has always been one of my talents. I am not saying that I will be the great American novelist or anything but I really do like it.

The Luck of the Draw

2008-09-03T16:38:00.000-07:00

I hope no one has tired of hearing my tales from that ever so gentle work environment of mine because I have another.

I woke up and could tell the day had an ominous black cloud hovering over it. On Labor Day I was working in the customer service department. This was supposed to be good news, as I would not have to deal with nearly as many customers waiting in line to buy merchandise.

I woke up with a feeling of great dismay, as I knew that even though I was working in the customer service department it would still be busy and I would be dealing with grouchy customers.

The night before there had been a torrential downpour that had found its way through my car window. I arrived at work with a cold wet, butt. Not happy. I pulled into a spot, noticing all of the people in line, turned off the car, and got out. As soon as I got out there was this man... lets call him moped man who was blocking the way to get into the building. I decided to do something out of my nature and I smiled and said, "Hello." He just looked at me and said, "You can't park there. Park across the street." I got back into my soaking wet car and drove across the street. The parking lot there was full though so I decided to parallel-park on the street... not my best talent but I managed.

As I got out of the car I saw a monstrous puddle going the entire width of the street. I had no choice, I had to try and jump across. You can only guess what happened. Yes, I misjudged my vertical leap abilities and landed right in the middle of the puddle. I had a nice shiny shoe full of muddy puddle water.

I walked into the store, fuming, and told one of my supervisors about it... he laughed. I guess my anguish is funny. The rest of the day was fine until my very last service call.

I answer a call and there is a woman on the phone who tells me she has a gift card from R.C. Willey that she was unable to use and was wondering when it would be activated. I did a gift card search on her account and came up with no active gift cards. I then looked in the open orders screen and found a gift card attached to her open order. It said that it was voided so I inquired a little further. It turns out she had already been issued another gift card for that same order for more money. As you can guess, you are only supposed to be issued one gift card per order and I explained this to the lady. Then I told her that the gift card that had been issued to her had already been used towards fabric protection on the order she received the gift card for. She then got huffy and said, "Who authorized that to be put on a gift card." I told her that it was her sales associate who put it towards her order. Then her husband gets on the phone and I tell him the whole story and he says, "I want to talk to someone who's competent... Get me to my sales associate!" Then he proceeded to swear rather loudly in my ear. I said, "Sir you need to calm down so I can help you." He continued to swear and again called me incompetent and asked for someone else so I said, "No sir, I will not get you to someone else" and hung up the phone.

I was thinking of a career in sniping. I feel that it would do a lot for my people skills, because I would not have to try to develop them anymore.

In or Out... Just Pick One

2008-08-17T13:13:00.000-07:00

Often times I have to question why? The other day, the question was , "Why are the "I" and the "O" keys right next to each other on the keyboard.

Often, I will be punching in or out and will clumsily type the wrong letter. This I blame on the ages of drunken Irish ancestors... I believe that their boos infused clumsiness somehow attached itself onto me.

Anyways, when this happens I have to go to a supervisor to make my punches accurate. This is just one of the many perks to RC Willey still making use of the dos system. Yes, the dos system! Once in a while I make these mistakes and it always seems to be when there is only one supervisor on duty so I have to wait for them to be finished with whatever task someone is having them help with. Our office is broken up into three departments... Cashiers (the easiest job ever), Credit, and Customer Service. A few weeks ago the office supervisor of the night was over in the credit department helping someone explain something completely obvious to a customer when I had mistakenly punched in instead of punching out.

I walked over and was waiting for him to finish. He was explaining that she was an authorized user on her husband's account and that she was not equally responsible for the account so she could not know any specific information about the account... just make purchases on it. After he explained this, she then said, "Well that is the most sexist thing I have ever heard", in a rather loud and condescending tone. I held back a laugh while I was listening to Jon, the supervisor of the evening, explain that it was in fact not sexist but it was just the way her husband and she had filled out the credit application. As they would have had to mark authorized user when adding her to the account. She then says, "Well this is the most backwards place in the world. I cannot believe that a business, in this day and age, can operate on such a sexist system." She then turned around and walked away to pay her bill at the cashiers.

I realized after I had my punches fixed, that if the "I" and the "O" keys where not next to each other that I would not have been witness to that incredible display of feminist protest. I have now received a great appreciation for the dos system and all of it's dysfunction!

2008-08-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

Read about my trip below!

2008-08-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

Keep going!

Trials and Blessings

2008-08-14T21:14:00.001-07:00

We had to take an emergency trip to Portland this past weekend. We found out that we are only aloud one cat in our apartment.

After a great deal of thought about which cat to give up for a while, we decided to take Selina Kyle to the Pedersen home and keep Hector Ayala with us. It was sad to see her go and Hector is still having trouble adjusting but we think it was the right choice.

I had been very upset about losing Selina Kyle while Brandon is finishing school. I have grown to be quite attached to those darn cats and I didn't want to see her go!

Before we came we learned of an occasion, which made up for our gloominess! We found out on Thursday that we had to get rid of one of the cats and it just happened that I was scheduled for a three day weekend with work. We were able to book a flight in, through the generosity of the Pedersen Parents, to bring Selina home to the Pedersen's place. We then found out that this was indeed the weekend that Brett and Britt were getting sealed. All of the sadness of having to be without Selina seemed to fade away.

There is something so wondrous about the temple and to see two people, that you are close to, take that step to become eternal companions, it fills one's heart with incredible joy. While I will still miss Selina a great deal, I am so happy for Brett and Britt!

Patriot?

2008-07-29T19:14:00.000-07:00

Please forgive me for ranting and bringing up all these old news stories but today I felt a little overrun with somewhat uninformed political opinions. While I truly believe that every one should form their own opinions on these subjects and that they should make those opinions known during a conversation like this, I also believe that they should have it fully formed and be knowledgable about the subject.

The presidential race came up and someone brought up the fact that they hate Obama. That's fine they can go ahead and hate him all they want but they started spouting about how they would die if he was in office because he is so unpatriotic. They referenced the picture of Barack Obama not putting his hand over his heart during the National Anthem and the fact that he doesn't wear an American flag pin on his shirt. They said, "He refuses to state the pledge of allegiance or wear a pin on his shirt."

How dare he... Can you feel the sarcasm dripping from that question? I can.

I believe that patriotism isn't shown through visual acts such as those. I believe that patriotism is an action. Actions such as paying your taxes, respecting government authority (even if you don't agree with their policies), respecting officers, following the constitution, and following the laws. I do not believe that wearing a little aluminum flag pin on your lapel makes you more patriotic than the rest. I do not believe that etiquette like placing your hand over your heart makes you respectful to our country. After researching several reputable news web pages I found no substantiated documentation or video showing good old Barack refusing to pledge allegiance to our flag. This leads me to believe that it was just rumor.

Now that I am done ranting about uninformed opinions on situations, not policies, I can leave you with my thought on this rather delicate subject. If people choose not to like him as a nominee for president, I believe they should base those opinions on policy, not hearsay.

would you trust your child with this woman?

2008-07-13T23:31:00.000-07:00

This is my BYU ID card, which is something I need to do laundry for cheep since we live on campus. Brandon keeps telling me that it looks like one of those photos that police send around to neighborhoods warning them of murderers, sexual predators, and/or stalkers. I think it is a picture of a lovely girl just having a rough day before she even got a shower... It seems to me that he is just jealous of my natural good looks. I mean come on people it's not like he can just roll out of bed, throw on a sweatshirt, and look so beautiful and kindly. I guess I'm just one of the few lucky. And just for the record... Brandon's picture looks like he is a little boy who is pouting because his mom won't buy him a slurpee! HAAAAAAAAA!

Nothing Can Compare

2008-07-12T20:02:00.000-07:00

To all of you who are thinking AWE HOW CUTE!!!!!!!!!!! and are oozing with a heart warming sensation, let me tell you how all of my clothes are covered in smelly Selina Kyle hair... Ok, so this is kind of cute. What happened was, I came home from work the other day and usually Selina Kyle comes right to me and wants me to hold her and snuggle her and give her scratches. There was no Selina for about 20 minutes so I decided to investigate. I looked in the tub because that's where she likes to play. I looked in the closet because that's where she hides from Hector. I looked under everything and on top of everything... No Selina Kyle... I began feeling a little worried simply because I thought she got out, somehow, and we are not exactly... allowed to have any kind of animal in our apartment... SHHHH!! So I decided it was time to go get dressed and go find her when I went into the bedroom and went to the dresser and found her there asleep. I got a little frustrated that I hadn't noticed her there at all during what I thought was a very thorough search. Then she woke up and looked up at me and started purring and meowing for me to pick her up... So I turned and left the room without her because I needed to get the camera so I could document this unforgivable act.

The Hector Lebowski

2008-07-12T19:50:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else see the insane resemblance? I think they were twins separated at birth. I was in the bedroom the other day while Brandon, Brett, and Britt were out in the living room. They kept hearing me going JEEZE!!!! or AWE CRAP!!!!!!!!!!! Surprisingly, no questions came with those outbursts until I finally yelled YES!!!!!!! I was trying to get this picture of Hector as The Big Lebowski. It was really frustrating because he kept moving and getting really angry. He was making these high pitched growls and in the back of my mind I was thinking, "Is he supposed to make that noise?" It took about five minutes, which may not seem long but for a picture with a crazy cat it is. I think it was totally worth it though because now John Goodman can finally have proof that he is one with a cat... Won't he be so pleased?

The Lindsey Tree

2008-06-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

Well I did it! I finally did it. I have put it off for years now. I have always wanted to know a little more about my heritage but I really thought the process would be painful. I still think that traditional genealogy is something that would bore me to no end. I was curious about the origins of my ancestors' surnames though so I looked into it. I found my Scottish clan, which was most exciting. I knew that I was Irish, Scottish, Welsh, and English but I wasn't sure where that all fit in. The Coat of Arms where hard to find w/o paying for them but it was good to just see them.

My great grandmother Eva's surname being Griffith is of Welsh origin. The family motto on our crest is Firmitas Et Sanitas, which means Strength and Sanity. I know some of you are laughing about the sanity part... I'm still scratching my head on that part too. I'm not sure what part of Whales it originated though.

My grandmother Alice's surname was Hannah Scottish in decent. From the Clan Hannay. The earliest version of Hannah I could find was Hannay, of Sorbie Tower in Galloway. Our family motto is Per ardua ad alta, meaning, Through difficulties to the heights.

My mother's name being Deborah Willis is English. The name is found first in Berkshire England. There is no motto that is found. It is a very ancient name apparently!

Now, my maiden name, Blake, is Irish/English. Started out as Lake from England then my ancestors moved to Ireland. The name has, apparently, many different spellings in ancient records some include Blake, Caddell, Caddle, and others (not really sure how blake and Caddell are the same). The Crest motto is Virtus sola Nobilitat, which translates to virtue alone ennobles or virtue alone is nobility.

It was really fascinating learning about my family's names and meanings. I have always prided myself in being Irish and Scottish and now I have a little more to say when people ask more into it then "UHHHHHH!" I hope this has inspired you to look a little deeper into your ancestry. I don't think I will ever enjoy searching for names and doing genealogy in the traditional sense but it's certainly nice learning a little more about where I came from because like I said before I knew nothing of it.

Trying to Beat the Heat... Away!

2008-06-27T22:06:00.000-07:00

Right now everyone around me is practically skipping for joy that it's summer... I, however, am not. First of all, my car's air conditioning is broken. The interior is black and it feels like it's about 2000 degrees. By the time have arrived at work I am thoroughly cooked. Sweaty, sticky and smelly. They are going to start calling me Stinky Pedersen. I don't know if many of you know this about me but I pride myself in not having body odor so to start now would just be defeat.

Second of all, there are 10 times more spiders showing up in my apartment. The last time I checked, spiders were supposed to be an outside thing. What happened? Do they all get together and decide to gather at the grumpy redhead's house. I think they must've. Not to mention the fact that they could be anywhere. I mean one morning I came out from the bedroom and was walking around the living room. I looked up, for some reason, and I see the biggest freaking spider in the entire world crawling on the ceiling just staring at me. I haven't been able to go in there alone for about a week now. Seriously.

Third, my poor skin is suffering. I am Irish, Scottish, and Welsh... FAIR SKINNED!!!!!!!!!! There is no chance of me developing a tan in a million years of sun bathing... A fair chance of melanoma but no tan. If I spend more than about three seconds in the sun, I melt! I am incredibly worried about my health here.

The only good things about summer are food related. Grilled chicken, Otter Pops, Chocco Tacos, watermelon and many many more. In spite of those things I truly believe that summer should end. I know this will enrage many people but I just don't care. I guess I feel my comfort is more important than anything else!

The Time of Our Lives

2008-06-18T19:01:00.000-07:00

HAPPY FOURTH ANNIVERSARY

Look at how happy we are in these pictures... all ignorant and blissful. I cannot believe it was four years ago that we married in the temple. We were young and beautiful then, which is far from the state we're in now. I am the first to say that marriage is no piece of cake but it is as delicious as cake... that is for sure. I truly believe that it strengthens you in so many ways and if you can only find a way to grow as a couple, then you have won the great prize.

This last weekend I got work off to celebrate the occasion and got to have fun just spending time together. Even though Brandon works at home and I only work, we still somehow don't spend a lot of time together. He is always busy with something and I am reading or watching a movie when I get off of work, so this was a great way to spend our fourth anniversary. The whole weekend was joyous but I of course loved the food. We went to the Macaroni Grill in Provo. Can you say yum? It was perfecto! They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, well I say his presence and food does an even better job.

I shall end with a piece of advice that I got on my wedding day... not that I have ever followed it, "Never go to bed angry." If I followed that, I would never sleep. Oh well and so long!

2008-06-03T20:06:00.000-07:00

I have to rant a little. Ever since Brandon and I have gotten married, though wonderful as it has been, we have missed pretty much every incredible concert there has been. The latest was of course the Sasquatch Festival. I have been reading about it and it was freaking amazing, apparently. Not only did I miss David Bazan's debut performance as David Bazan and the Black Clouds but apparently Rainn Wilson was there, just hanging out. A few others include Modest Mouse, Death Cab for Cutie (whose new album is awsome) and many more, many more! Brandon and I went to see David Bazan playing a few of his new songs. It was pretty perfect but I need more. I cannot see why I am destined to rot here in Provo while all the musical genius is in Portland. I really feel like I have been cursed. Well I guess I'm mostly upset because of my dreadful day!

2008-06-03T19:51:00.000-07:00

This is how I feel right now. I know that those of you who have not seen me in a while are very alarmed, so to ease you, I have not turned into a creepy old man but have caught a nasty cold. So I am now writing in my Sudafed induced state a blog about how crappy it is to have a cold. Today I did have to go to work and was sniffing and blowing all day. Then a wonderful coworker said, "I was sick last week and believe me, I would much rather have you have, then what I had." As you can tell that immediately set me at ease... Did the sarcastic nature of that comment come through in my writing? I guess she was trying to make me feel better in her own awkward way. I was thinking the whole day that if only I could find a way sharpen a pencil enough I could end my misery but now that I am drugged I feel much better...

2008-06-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

I found this picture at a website and I was wondering how they got a picture from my own personal collection. For those of you who have met Hector Ayala, does this not fit him? There have been multiple encounters with Hector that have ended up this way. There is something unnatural about that cat. He is never far from my thoughts and I feel he might be staring at me right now thinking, "Why has that woman not died yet so I can eat her face?" Maybe it's the Sudafed talking but I'm sure he's around somewhere thinking I look like a porkchop.

I'm so scared! Well I have to go now because my face is about to explode from all the pressure.

2008-05-27T21:32:00.000-07:00

Just one more piece of info... I was promoted to the customer service department. It is pretty exciting because I get a nice little pay raise and much more responsibility. Am I up to the task? I guess we will see. So I guess you could say that things have been going very well for me at the Willey. I cannot believe that I have been working there for a whole year. I am happy to say that I have stuck with it... with all the crazies, the winers, the jerks, the creepy, and the ignorant. I guess it all comes with the job and I only have to stay there until Brandon is done with school and I can finally go back to school and get my degree in Interior design or something undecided. Well there you go I have updated enough for now.

2008-05-27T21:20:00.000-07:00

Well, I was asked to provide pictures, physical proof, that I have indeed gone over to The Dark side and am in ownership of cats.... Well here they are the fuzzy devils themselves... That last one really shows the fear they strike in my heart. No, I really do love these two. The black one, Selina Kyle (Cat Woman's alter ego) is a sweet little girl. She loves to purr and snuggle with me. Fatty, or Hector Ayala (A white tiger from Spider Man) is a big boy. He seems to be quite a loner and really only likes to snuggle when I get home from work. He is quite the manly cat in that way. He and Selina play all day and they have the scratches to prove it. Maybe someday I will tire of them and decide to drown them but for now I really like having something to take care of since Brandon and I cannot really have kids at the moment.

2008-05-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

This is the moment when I realized that Brandon is no long simply awaiting my death... he is taking action towards speeding up that process. I really didn't want to fall in the water because it looked cold but his heart softened and he decided to spare my life. I guess true love does actually exist after all, how nice! No really, this is yet another picture from our wonderful trip to the state of pure bliss.

2008-05-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

The end of the Lewis and Clark's journey.

I LOVE TAFFY!!!!!!!!!!!

Mowlex and me.

This guy was fully dressed in a wet suit and just jumping up and down in the waves... very random.

The tide before we put our pretty little toes in.

I was just waiting for the sensation of numbness to set in.

This swing set is the exact spot that Brandon proposed.

Here's our frozen feet in the arctic waters of the Pacific Oregon Coast.

2008-05-24T19:26:00.000-07:00

Gone to Oregon the most blessed place/Zion of the Northwest

It's green like this everywhere

A City of Bridges

The Freeway View of Portland

Finally, finally, finally, we got to go back to Oregon for a nice getaway. It was amazing. When we were driving from PTLD INTL Airport I was blown away. I had forgotten how green everything was. So many bright hues each varying in shade and intensity, absolutely incredible. We had a lot on our to do list that week and here it goes...

The first night we had an Encore (The stake's youth chior) concert. They were very good this year. There is a good mix of all the singing parts when the group is all together and in harmony. Then we went back home and relaxed at the Pedersen home.

Monday we took The Mowlex, the little sister/in-law, to the beach. We had a great time. We were at seaside, which is the end of the Luis and Clark Trail. Brandon has been to the beginning as well in SL Missouri. The beach was perfect. It was not too cold but not completely congested with tourists. Then we headed to the town of Seaside and wandered around for a long time. We went to all the great little shops there and bought way too much candy... but not enough salt water taffy... there really is no such thing as too much when it comes to salt water taffy. Then we headed over to Cannon Beach to get some pictures. It was beautiful, of course. Then we headed back to Seaside to eat and possibly buy some fresh crab. As luck would have it, the only crab place we found had no crab legs left, which is what we wanted so we just got some delicious salmon jerky. Yummmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!! Then we went to a place called Pudgy's for dinner... It was good food but extremely awkward since we were the only three customers in the whole restaurant almost the entire time and it just wasn't very clean. There were floaters in the water and crumbs on the table.

On Tuesday we had delicious Chinese food from China Moon. That was a nice relaxing day where we spent some time in our native Beaverton. It has changed so much in only two years since we last visited.

Wednesday we went downtown to 23rd street and got to take in all the urban delight. We of course stopped by

Wham where we found the most interesting t-shirts and other whacky things. We also went to Escape from New York Pizza, which was delicious. There were many fantastic pictures on the walls from over the years. We spent the day looking around and talking to people. Portlander's are so nice. Everyone was so courteous... sometimes I forget that perfect strangers can be pleasant. The sad part of the day came when we saw Music Millenium was closed. We had heard rumors but when we saw it for our own eyes we had to finally accept this cold hard fact. There was such an incredible selection of vinyl, cd and just music related items there. Obviously we cannot leave out the fact that there were also free concerts their with completely awsome bands. That place will definitely be missed. We of course also stopped by Powell's Books. It is this intense city block long/wide book store that is like the Mecca of reading. Any book you are looking for is there and so, so much more. Brandon could hardly contain his excitement. I was, of course, hoping that we would run into David Bazan while we were in town but no luck!

On Thursday we had a visit with Jen and Bri (my sisters) and Bri's kids. They have gotten so big. Brayden is now 7 years old and Maddie is now 2 years old. We hung out for a while at Brianne's apartment with the kids and then went to Guisseppi's Italian Restaurant. The best pizza in the world can be found there. It was wonderful to see them all, especially since we don't get to make it back to Oregon as much as we would like... or even close to as much as we would like.

On Friday Linda P., Alex P. and Me P. went to get manicures and pedicures. The lady who did mine had magic fingers. Although, I am pretty certain that the girls who worked on me and Mowlex were talking about us in their foreign talky talk... They pointed and everything and it really validated my feelings of superiority. I guess not everyone can be a foxy redhead. Then we went to Ikea on the way to the airport and I proceeded to beg Brandon for various things. Begging is always fun, especially when there is no hope of actually receiving what you are begging for. SUCK!!! Then sadly as with everything else, the Oregon Trip had to end and they drove me to the airport.

Now the salt water taffy supply has run out and the sugar jitters have gone I realize that we need to move back but that day seems to never come. We didn't quite get to see everyone we wanted or even get everything done that we miss doing but our stay was still perfect.

FEAR AND TREMBLE

2008-05-14T04:01:00.000-07:00

THE DARK HAND OF JUSTICE

HAS ITS EYES UPON YOU!

2008-04-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

This is Anderson Lee. He's the son of my friend, Marcene, from High school. This was the first time I met him and he is a cutie. He definitely seems like he is of Miller stock. We had a good time. I met up with Marcene and Angie and we went to lunch. Then we went to Maranda's (marcene's sister) salon and I got a scalp and conditioning treatment. Maranda has magic fingers! It was awsome.... Then I took them both home and was a little sad because we never get to see each other but had such a great time.

2008-04-27T20:31:00.000-07:00

A friend from work and i went to a reception for a another friend from work. Here's us waiting in line to congratulate the newly wedded couple. It was a luau theme reception. We had a delicious hawaiian meal and had a great time. Aren't they just so cute that you want to throw up a little?

2008-04-27T20:14:00.000-07:00

Well Brandon is officially an animation major at BYU. We are very excited. He starts classes again in fall and cannot wait to get into it. I am excited for the future and we know for a fact that his finish date for school is going to be winter of 2010, which of course seems far away but I am sure that it will all be a blur. Things tend to happen that way. SO CONGRATULATIONS TO BRANDON!!!!!!!!!

2008-04-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

This is a silhouette of Hellboy Hellbabies. Brandon had a project to create an idea for a toy and he thought of Hellboy characters that where smaller. I called them Hellbabies and the name sort of stuck.

2008-04-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

Brandon has applied to the animation program. He turned in his portfolio and application a week ago and I have not been so nervous in such a long time. I can tell that this is the job that he was made for. He seems to have a natural ability for spacing things on paper. He can just think up a scene in his head and... PRESTO, it's on the paper. I really have no idea how he can do it. He has gotten better at figure drawing as well. He took a class this semester where models would pose for about half an hour and the people in class would draw them. His work improved so much over just one semester. He also has been working on this program called MAYA that deals in computer animation. He has really taken to texturing and shading. (I can barely draw on paper, let alone with a computer mouse).

He has been working so hard and is always going. Last night he didn't even come to bed. He finished his final MAYA project and turned it in. He stayed up all night making sure it was perfect. He really has been such a trooper during this semester and has improved as an artist so much. I really hope he gets into the program but my patience has gone out the window... I wish they would let us know so the anxiety would just go away!!!!!!!!

2008-04-19T19:56:00.000-07:00

This is one of the pictures that Brandon drew. He made it for his blog page but I really enjoy it.

2008-04-17T18:22:00.000-07:00

And, of course here they are cleaning each other and purring. Their relationship doesn't seem to make any sense at all.

2008-04-17T18:18:00.000-07:00

Here is Hector Ayala and Selena Kyle playing nice. They are just so sweet together. Sometimes when I am laying in bed before I get up in the morning I can hear them hissing and growling at each other. While I'm lying there I think this is just the greatest family ever.

2008-04-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

Here is Brandon, trying to hide from the camera at our apartment. I don't know how anyone can be so camera shy. I just don't understand... Maybe I just don't understand because he is insane and it is hard to understand the insane.

2008-04-17T18:09:00.000-07:00

This is the cake that I made for our Birthday Celebration. It was funfetti with rainbowchip frosting, which, of course, is the greatest cake of all time. It gave me a chance to use my new cake plate... I love this cake plate so much. Its a good thing I married Brandon so that I had an excuse to make a cake for someone and use this fantastic plate to hold it. Oh I guess that the highlight was to celebrate Brandon's birth... there I mentioned it.

2008-04-17T18:05:00.000-07:00

Here is Brett verbally abusing Britt. They make such a great couple. They came over for Brandon's Birthday. We watched No Country for Old Men and I realized that I have that same haircut. It was a great discovery. It was an exciting night full of fear and dread of the future!

2008-04-17T18:02:00.000-07:00

This is the menu from IHOP. This drink is called the Beazlenut Slurp. When I read the description that they have on the menu, I almost threw up. I will let you figure out what the floating cubes actually are. DISGUSTING!

2008-04-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

ASH MASTER THUG!!!! She's such a pimp.

2008-04-17T17:50:00.000-07:00

Ashley and Savannah took me out for breakfast the morning of my birthday. We went to IHOP and hung out a little after.

2008-04-17T17:47:00.000-07:00

Here is Sam, Ashley, and Brittany posing with the chocolate poop diapers.

2008-04-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of a baby shower that we through for Sasha (a girl from work). We all stuffed balloons under our shirts and pretended to be pregnant. It was a fun day.

2008-04-17T17:37:00.000-07:00

Here is Hector Ayala playing with some wrapping paper from the Birthday celebration. He loves to hide under things. This time he hid under and when I came into the room I saw this black wrapping paper move and Hector jumped out of the paper in attack mode. He dove for my feet then ran away. Even though he is pure evil I do still kinda like him.

2008-04-17T17:35:00.000-07:00

Selena Kyle is our little one. Here she is hangin' out in the office. She loves to sit right by the computer while we type. Of course she loves it more when she can be right in front of the screen. Sometimes I think she might be the spawn of Satan but I can't prove it. Oh well!

2008-04-17T17:21:00.000-07:00

I was bored waiting for Brandon to finish his drawings for class before we went out for our Birthday celebrations. We went out for dinner, then went to Borders, and then we went to see Brett and Britt in concert. Their band Johann the Angel is incredible. We had a great time. I wish I had more pictures.